Over the course of my six days at home, my life changed. The empty vessel that was my spirit was refilled. I return to Kansas City renewed, refreshed, and with a greater sense of self than I had when I left. The gift I received is clarity of purpose that only a nation/state like New York can offer. The energy is phenomenal in New York, the honesty is brutal, and life can be financially challenging but fulfilling. All except the last is absent in the city I now live in.
The city I live in has zero energy and honesty tends to come in dribs and drabs. Life is New York makes people jaded yet there is always an “openness” of spirit and acceptance. The overriding spirit of New York is that I have been “bruised but not broken.” In the city I now live in people tend to be jaded to the verge of paranoia and completely untrusting, the spirit is closed and unaccepting of anything different from the norm. It is accepted to be “bruised and broken” and be proud of that fact, while wishing to be different. That is the environment that I left. I was drained mentally and emotionally.
No matter how long you are away from New York things never really change, at least geographically. I was excited to be going to the “land of the real.” My flight left 30 minutes late and due to uncontrollable events my brother was unable to meet me at La Guardia. No problem, I just purchased my 7-day Metro card and took the M60 from the airport to midtown, the D train to 33rd street and the PATH to Jersey City. That is an example of what New York is about adjusting, adapting, and overcoming without fear to situational change. That single change of plans set me on a jump-started journey of evaluation and energizing.
When I moved from New York, I viewed it with hopeful optimism. The move signified a new opportunity to achieve personal and professional success in my life. To meet a loving woman and begin a family was an additional objective I developed after being here for five years. My brother who lived in California for over 10 years before moving back to New York told me once that, “…we have expiration dates when we leave New York and at some point the city calls us back to visit or move back…” my expiration date has come and gone. If I was a quart of milk, I would be yogurt by now.
Since moving I have gone thru a health challenge that threatened my life, have hit the restart button on my career more than once, and have experienced many hurtful and traumatic relationships. Those events do not erode my appetite for life, it just enhances it. Yet, those events have drained me and the need to come home and recharge with family becomes paramount. Family and the need to be around people who are not pretentious, fake, or mercurial heals my spirit and focuses my mind.
This trip has allowed me to evaluate my life and to evaluate the people in my life. Some of the people who are in my life will no longer be. I can see clearly now thru a prism to see what needs to be done to bring my goals to fruition. I will not change myself to be accepted nor tolerated. I have self-affirmed myself and my greatness. I have no fear because fear kills the mind. Nor will I wait for a 3×5 index card from heaven with instructions as some persons do as an excuse for not living life or pursuing goals. Until I am able to move back East I will not allow the environment in the city I now live to kill my chi; my spirit. I will execute my plan and adjust and adapt, never losing my love of life, my love of family, my love of myself and the greatness I was imbued with by my family.