By Stacey Woods
The Baby Boomers rebelled against their dorky parents. We Gen Xers, however, couldn’t rebel against our parents since rebelling against your parents had been done, so instead, we cultivated irony; it was all we could do. This subtle, handcrafted irony, however, has fallen into the hands of subsequent generations who have been misinterpreting ever since, and now we have dorky a cappella singing competitions on TV. Ironically, that’s what happens when you try to be ironic — you end up making things a million times worse. Therefore, all intentional irony should be abolished until everyone’s clear on what’s good and what’s bad. It’ll probably take about five years.
2. Being All Ghetto
Getting your drink on, making it rain up in here, giving a shout out, being all about things, and throwing gang signs in pictures are all about 15 years out of date and weren’t that great to begin with. Classically, a ghetto is a tragic place from which to emerge, not dive into and declare fabulous.
3. Stepping Up Your Game and/or Bringing Your A-Game
Just forget about your game completely.
4. The Namaste Gesture
When directed at, let’s say, the dry cleaner, this abridged prayer and bow combo comes off as highly insincere. As with everything, if you can imagine Adam Levine doing it, you should avoid it.
5. Being Stoked
All too often, being stoked leads to giving a shout out. Best to avoid it.
Read More 27 Things to Leave Behind in 2014 – Esquire.